Brotherhood Of The Sound (a prayer)

original post 09.29.2010

So here it begins…  Begins with a prayer.  A prayer I’ve known since childhood, the first prayer I memorized… Hmmm, the only prayer I’ve ever memorized.  but with a twist…  Since I was very young the world was music.  I think I’ve said it before, the 9 volt transistor radio in the back seat of my Mothers car Listening to Summer in the city.  I think I was 5 or 6 and I fell in love with, no wait,  Music became a part of me that would never leave.  From that moment on I not only wanted a guitar, I had to have one.  So, what did I get… Piano Lessons… Oh yeah, great exchange, only to find that was a doorway to what I would do with other instruments.

Now I lay me…

It’s 2 am and just 3 and one half hours till I got to a place I’m not very fond of.  A hospital.  I’ve been told by a doctor I’ve come to trust I have Transitional Cell Carcinoma on my prostate (fancy word for some sort of cancer) and 3 tumors in my bladder.  I however am one of the lucky ones.  I’m having it removed with a seemingly simple procedure… Love that word procedure.  has a kind of ring to it.  Makes it sound simple.  This next part is not for the weak, the procedure is, removing three tumors from my bladder and a ruputred tumor from around my prostate, then the scraping begins… Yes I said scraping.  SCRAPING, no medical term was given when this was explained, just going to scrape from the bladder down the tube thru the prostate to the other side down to the tip… yes I said tip.. whoa!  so before this begins I will be put under some serious drug induced unconsciousness

Down to sleep…

When I was some where in my very early teens I was in a Junior High School Band.  I played Snare Drum and Trumpet, (mostly Trumpet)  I also played guitar so I was not much in the way having many friends.  Oh I had a few we would have the standard kid games, Dirt Clod Fights and shoot our windows with bb guns and throw eggs at each other and the neighbors car (what a drag that was when I got caught for that) but mostly I sat in my tree fort and played my guitar, or in my closet (when we moved and I didn’t have a tree fort, bummer) I remember something a street musician told me when I was down town Reno one day.  He had his guitar case open and he was standing there as long as he could get away with and playing.  I stood and listened to the sweet blues sound this kat was layen down… he said, “hey kid you play”, I said with confidence, “Yeah”  He stopped and looked at me and took his strap from over his head and handed me his guitar…  “Play me somethin”…  so I did… I layed down my best rendition of Heart of Gold… he stopped me mid first verse… he said “No man, not someone elses heart, can ya play me your heart brother.  I was set back.  I never really thought of it like that and I’ve never been called brother by an adult…  he talked to be for a bit about the feel of the hart of music and where to bring it.  No, little brother… Can you play me some soul?  I almost chickened out, I almost said, I’m not good enough…  I said ‘Yeah, lemme try it”  then he waved at me like giving a push “do it man, Just Play it”…  So I did… I played the same 2 chordes with as much soul as I could muster… got a few coins tossed in the case and a cool kid from a few.  The one thing I remember most is what he said…  Freedom Brother… Music is Freedom and you need to be free in that. It’s a Fact of Life… Live with that in your heart and you’ll be free all the way to Heaven.  And when you get to Heaven, there’s a Band of Angels playin every night, that’s the Heaven I’m goin too, then he started to laugh.  To be honest, at the time it kinda creeped me out the way he laughed, but heh, I laugh the same way now… I get it Brother…

I Pray the Lord My Soul To Be Free…

3 am, just went to the 7-11 for some smokes… Yes, started smoking again… oh well,  never mind that.  it’s almost time… I was think’n bout this old dude (on my way back from the 7-11 store) I met on the beach in Clearwater Florida, when I was 13.  I hitch hiked (ran away from home) from California  all I had was a pair of levis, a pair of Chucks with the back torn out.  a Phillips 66 jacket and my guitar…  there were many adventures across the country on that trip but this dude was way cool, He shuffled up to me, wearing a thin Florida type suit with a cool hat, smoke’n a fat cigar… I was sit’n on the bench there marveling at the fact that at 13 years old I made it to Clearwater Florida.  Had no real reason to go there, all I knew is I was listening to these kats talk’n about the parties and the music in Clearwater so I decided at that point I was going to go there… Hell, at 13, I could get into all kinds of trouble… anyway, this kat was so cool, he leaned over and said, Nice play’n kid, where ya from.   I said “Simi Valley”.  He said “California”!  well, I have a brother that lives out that way, only he lives in Ventura, on the beach”.  “So Ya ran away from home eh”,  I kinda stiffend up and said, well I guess I did”…  he sat there look’n at the girls walk’n by tip’n his cool hat and they would smile and say Hi,  he looked at me and said, “son, that guitar of yours… keep it close by, ya see them half naked girls, they’ll just break yer heart, that guitar… that will be your only salvation from that wound”… and he laughed big and started to cough thru his cigar… “heh, and yer never to old, hehheh” he got up and tip’d his hat and said Keep play’n Kid… Keep play’n,

If I should die, before I wake,

Well, it’s almost 0430 and I’ve been dreaming up alot of old stuff, but I remember a time when I had to have surgery and they always tell you.   You know there’s always a chance you could die. (not exact words but that’s pretty much what your sign before they give you drugs…)  I went in and I was on this table, this kat comes in with a tie-dyed surgical cap and a bunch of syrenges in his top pocked.  Asking me questions, like do I do or have I ever done any drugs, did I ever smoke pot, did I ever do acid… Well, I’m not one to be shy so it was yes to all the above… then he says do you still, I’m like well no that was fun in high school but I’ gotta go to work… he said why not man.. as he shoots me with this wicked coctail of some sort of drug… Ya like “how did that feels?” I’m like wow… but it didn’t feel right. something felt wrong.  especially when I had to count backwards from 100 and didn’t even make it to 1**.  I remember the music being so loud It was almost unbearable, then it mellowed out, Kinda like a turtles song, Remember me and you, I do, No matter how they to toss the dice”  then the dream was so surreal it seemed to be my life… then I woke up in some room covered in heated blankets… I remembering needing to go back to that place… I wonder if this is my chance to finish?  Hmmm

I pray the Lord, I’ll play in heaven with Stevie Ray…

There is so much that has to be done musically, and it’s all from the soul….  just so y’all know… I’ll be back in a few days.  This and a few other things in my life have pushed me to this, the thing I’m destine to…  The only woman that has my heart, when we first met, why aren’t you playing?  and when she moved away, she knew it’s what had to happen so I could meet this destiny…

Wakantonka Oshimala, Mani cha kikipapi, le mita cola: means “Honor God, Walk without fears My friend… Lakota

and a powerful prayer, Mitakuye Oyasin: means, “All My relations or We Are All Related”  a call to the ancestors for healing…

Be well, See you soon…

Peace…

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